Many years ago I read a book entitled "The Mists of Avalon" by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It was recommended by my "librarian" friend, Va. I loved the book. It was fascinating to follow the fictitious characters that were associated with King Arther and the knights of the Round Table. I loved the concept of the Goddess, and felt sadness as she slowly disappeared into the mists to be replaced by the ever encroaching Judeo-Christian God led by the Crusaders searching for the "Holy Grail." A search, which metaphorically was an obsessive quest for near impossible attainment and ironically an excuse to battle and plunder while forcing the Celtic faith into the darkness of the mist.
My search, however, has been for "Indra" and "The Shawl of Tears". A character somewhere created by someone who represents to me the step we take after disappointment or rejection. It is perhaps the chasm between need and want which a good friend of mine explained so beautifully; and I, in my muddled way, have forgotten.
Bayview Court
Carefully now take it to part this frailty that nobody loves.
I like orange juice better than apple juice does.
Somersaulting through keyholes, leaps lighter than air,
add a purl to Indra's shawl of tears with a flair,
accept your disapproval with hardly a care.
Oh Morgain, mistress of mysteries, to your barge I'll moor.
Hold your staff and raise the mist, I'll see Avalon once more.
I've bathed their feet, prepared their feasts, sewn their robes and
gowns. I've served concede and smile despite their wails and frowns.
I've saved the morning's twilight stretching, dancing until dawn.
And when awakened from relinquished sleep cuddling my little
fawns, I drink in their baby breath with each delightful yawn.
August,1986
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