Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Sabotage

Interesting word...Sabotage..  "A weakening of;  most usually, a workplace, by slowing production either by lowering energy or committing a physical insult i.e. loosening an important screw or sugar in the fuel tank etc." 

How about sabotage of the heart?  Matters so personal, yet completely relevant and of the utmost importance for heart survival.  How does sabotage enter here?  Subtle ignoring, not being direct, suffering in silence, or complete rejection...a slow unacknowledged numbing until only solace remains.    . 



Not an Archive


I think with cobwebs in my brain,
huge bubble gum motors...smiling
yakking nurses keeping the spotlight
on trivial matters while tears back
up behind my eyelids squeezed by
the webs (no room for the spiders)
and the nurse just keeps yakking.
So damn happy cause she escaped
with her job; and now I'm desperately
searching for commuter positions,
government, education, administrative,
or whatever. While my friend, forsaken,
is courting a Parisian Artist wearing a
beret for sure; and soon he will be
gone, I employed, and we will both
shake our heads because we left the
hourglass turning with no supervision...
turning with small chance of revision.
Sand sifting through a narrow cross
determining our founds and our loss.


October 3, 2010


I suppose self sabotage is the worst because, after all, it does come down to "self". 
No one to blame but..........  etc.

There are outside pressures, however, and sadly they come from other people whom we allow to capture and influence our hearts, attention, time, views of all sorts: political, philosophical, religious, familial and on on on. . 

I guess this is what is called "love".  The stupid fuzzy lapse in time where you succumb to another's will and live to not only regret, but to hear the person who pursued and captured accuse you of the very same hypnotic conquest.


 My eyes flashed


at the incongruity of your words.
Darkness cast over the sanctity of Intimacy.

Me, melting into sensual yet alert to intellectual,
feeling confident only in the Physical where
It is not allowed, whispered or even spoken.

And You, unaware of its existence yet completely
knowing that its impending presence will be.

And It will pose a problem that could either expand,
alter, or instigate a termination; which I, nimble-footed will resist
and you? I can not imagine.

Yet, when I saw your Picasso body with outstretched arms
demonstrating a certain airplane, my heart melted; and I knew
you were the Patron of my non-conformity, the Divider of my soul.


November, 2007

2 comments:

  1. Hi Sally You made me think about letting people in and keeping them out, how we need to keep that boundary fluid or, at least, able to change. Different moments call for different levels of opening up. Sometimes keeping oneself sequestered is the right thing. Sometimes we can be very honest and it allows the possibility of intimacy with another.

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    Replies
    1. Yes; but when you are not received by the one you assumed was your intimate partner, the result is betrayal or as I mentioned, sabotage!

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